The Unruly Girls ▴

Months have gone by and Ive filled yet again another journal with memories. They couldve passed just as quickly as the others, but here I lay them in safety. This one has been a witness of my growth. As selfish as it may sound, Ive barely written about other people. Most of the things Ive dealt with was me. The dreams I have. My frustrations. My happiness. When I started it, I had no idea that some of my fondest memories would rest here. It'll serve as a doorway to reconnect to my past selves in order to understand my future ones because in here I carry lessons that I hope would last a lifetime.

Here are some of its pages. Take a detour inside my heart and my soul and please remember to remain gentle. Im still learning and growing, just as you are.

Being with your best friend 24/7 is the coolest thing ever. No dull moment, to be honest. Self love is so nice.

The one you feed will always win. There will be days harder than others. Some you won't know where to get the food for the right one but it's there. It'll always be there. Please choose to be kind. To be gentle and soft. Choose to feed the good wolf who wants to see you succeed. Who wants to see you happy. Look at flowers when you feel as though you are losing yourself. In their vibrance, in their hues, in the life in them, you'll find yours too.

Take care of the soul. Drop whatever's hindering you. Listen to your gut feeling. You feel it for a reason. Get back up and start over, if that's what you need. Find gratitude. Once you learn to acknowledge that your situation is better than most, appreciation is second nature. Gratitude. Be the energy you want to attract. Energy is everything.

I am tired and losing my focus.
My mom makes it seem so easy to fix the mess I keep on making out of myself. I wish I could see myself in her eyes.

Do I really want this? Or am I just sharing someone else's dream? I can never be certain as to what I want and I have a difficulty living in the present. Staying in it. Does it just look dreamy? Or was it always something I wanted and it's only now that it reveals itself to me?

Im afraid to make the wrong decision knowing one thing always lead to another and that every choice I make now impacts heavily on the life I'll have in the future. I'm ever changing so I can't be comfortable and get used to just one thing. I should probably push myself more. Step back and look at it outside of the confinements of their influence. Have I consumed too much that I lost myself? Or did it make know to me another part of myself that's been concealed? Im so fucking afraid. Why am I so fucking afraid? I lost her again. I dont know ~~but~~ and that's alright.

I love how when you cry, you pick up flowers fallen on the ground. The mere act is so powerful. So hopeful.

It's so much easier to be friends with yourself. Perhaps being lonely is really a sign that you're in dire need of yourself. I want to be enough. I am enough. These chains(?) are merely a shadow. I dont want to be burdened anymore by my own mistakes and shortcomings. I'd forget, but then with the mistakes come the lessons.
Cute dogs seen: probs 10
Airplaines passed: 5 i think!

"You know, I used to label my friends. There was this girl who just felt like home. Whenever I'm with her, I am myself. There's this other girls who made me feel like Im always in a movie whenever we're together. And then there's one who's like a mom to me. Seriously! I feel like Im with my mom whenever we hang out. But in the best way possible.
And as much as I dont label my friends now, I think you've become my movie girl."

-Stephen when we stopped to eat street food at 10 PM while walking home. The sweetest thing someone has ever told me. I melted in public.

I keep on finding new and healthy sources of happiness. Im constantly falling in love. Always compelled to dance. The feeling is so addicting and I am endless.
It's alright if you keep me up at night. Just be careful not to break my heart.

I said I'd never get full bangs nor cut my hair short but here I am. In February, I went back to my first love- blogging and launched Soft and Savage. A few months after that I felt the need to create something that's more than myself and so I rebranded it into The Unruly Girls. I somehow managed to survive without my mom within arms reach, I moved out of home and into the city. Starting to meditate, quitting energen and fast food, only purchasing thrift store clothes, doing commissioned work, being more active in my local church, trying on new food, experiencing new cultures, reading lots of books and articles.. I have met so may people that inspires me and gained the courage to collaborate with other creators. I received my first plaque in school and was promoted in my organization. Filled my journal with stories and documented how I feel. I became better with self awareness and discovered more things to be passionate about.

That's what the last six months looked like for me. The first half of this year was definitely an adventure and a learning process. Looking back, I am in awe of how much Ive grown as a person, as a woman, as a daughter, and as a creator. I started 2017 with a hopeful heart and a fresh outlook, leaving behind whatever's weighing me down and those I wasnt really proud of. My mindset has been so much better. I know I still have a long way to go but for now, I want to look back and just celebrate how much Ive accomplished. Im a happier person and I don’t let my circumstances affect my positive disposition.

I was going over my notes to myself from four years ago and I stumbled upon an apology letter that broke my heart. If I could go back and tell that girl that it will be alright, that the same reflection that she doubts will also be the same person to pick her up and breakthrough. I can say that Im a much better person now, but that doesnt mean I'll stop here. There's so much room for growth and I am a never ending process. There's no need for an apology now. Today I ended 6th journal with another letter to myself. This time it wen't like this:

Thank you for being brave. For taking the leap despite your legs shaking. For choosing yourself and taking over the wheel. For getting up. Thank you for the forgiveness. For your absurd dreams, your infallible eagerness to learn, for seeing the world like a child. For the patience and courage that brought us here. It's only the beginning. Always remember your why. Always choose kindness. Honesty. Faith. Patience. Go for it. Fly. Stay in love.

How about you? How's your 2017 so far? Let's take this time for some reflection and review of the first half of the year. Letting go of all the frustrations, guilt and any other negativity, take a moment to appreciate and honor where you are now. Youve come this far! That's amazing! Remember that Im cheering for you, wherever you are in your endeavor. And im so proud of you.

Also, it's past midnight now but I made a mid-year review worksheet for you to work on if youre a bit lost on where to start with this reflection thing. I gotchu, girl.

Download the worksheet here!

Photos by Yves Publico and Patricia Oliveros.

Whether it's a video, book, music, or a blog post, I make sure to only consume things beneficial to my wellbeing, especially with the boundaries of time as a busy college student. The podcasts I listen to shouldn't be an exception. Podcasts were introduced to me earlier this year and now, I cant last a day without listening to at least one. I tune in while getting ready, editing photos, browsing through pinterest, folding the laundry- basically any tasks that doesnt require my full attention (aka writing.)

My favorite time to listen, though, is during commute. My dramatic self is really into staring out the window and listening to music while contemplating life. I spend most of my uber rides crying over inspirational interviews of women while looking up at the buildings. (Yup, that kind of drama) However, sometimes it’s really nice to take a break from my own head and have something else my mind can focus on especially when Ive had a long day and my eyes are too tired to read or watch a video.

Here are some of the podcasts keeping me company at the moment.

Hey, Girl by Alexandra Elle

[Listen here]

Alex Elle features topics on being a woman especially in the black community. Not the typical #GirlTalk limited to periods, PMS, men's attention, etc. Along with other women as her guests, the host talks about activism, motherhood, creating authentically, loss and more. Her voice is so soothing as well!

Living Open by Eryn Johnson

[Listen here]

Eryn interviews different women from around the world, discussing a wide array of topics and lessons learned from one's own and unique journey. Veganism, self love, yoga, feminism, sexuality, dreams, and religion are only some of them. She talks to minimalists, travellers, activists, writers and students alike. Seeing into the lives of different kinds of people through the interviews is a fun learning experience.

Ladies Who Lunch by Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes
[Listen here]

I love the idea of a casual talk about society and culture by two women while eating and this podcast is all about that! Ingrid and Cat raise awareness on issues that are perceived negatively by majority and discusses topics that are just timeless. I love being able to listen to two girls talk about things that I am genuinely interested in and at the same time, expand my knowledge and discover more of myself with every episode.

The Heart Study by Vivian Laurence

[Listen here]

This is the podcast I'm currently listening to. Just in time for my ever growing fascination with self discovery and spirituality. Vivian discusses different books, mostly by Osho, to dive deeper into concepts of gaining an understanding about oneself. Regardless of religion, race, age, economic status or sex, everyone will surely gain substantial morals that will challenge perspective. The books discussed: The Four Agreements, The Fifth Agreement, Sex Matters and Being In Love by Osho.

Messy Head by Emma Mercury

[Listen here]

Just like the content of her magazine, Emma talks about a wide range of topics on spirituality, activism, the concept of perfection, heartbreak and more on her podcasts. This one stands out from the other because you can hear the city, the unclean cuts, the songs in between, maybe a construction site nearby and the people in the cafe. Indeed, it is messy but ever so in a beautiful way. These are the kind of conversations I wish had with people.

Functioning Minimalist by Sara

[Listen here]

Sara gives a new light to minimalism. She acknowledges that there isnt only one way to do it and that we all have our own way of being minimalists. Not only does she talk about the effects of the fast fashion industry, she also talks about how minimalism helps our spirituality. On her podcast, minimalism isnt just about owning less things. It is about decluttering different aspects of our lives as well.

The Lavendaire Lifestyle by Aileen Xu

[Listen here]

Aileen is one of my favorite youtubers so it's a no brainer that her podcast made it to this list! However, loving this podcast goes beyond my bias. Being all about creating the life of your dreams, it is a source of inspiration, motivation and positivity that are just so hard to have on certain days. She exemplifies her morals by sharing her own story of being driven by her own passion. There are also collabs and interviews! My favorite one by far is the one with Sara Dietschy.

WTF Am I Doing With My Life? by Kristy Arnett

[Listen here]

The title basically explains what this podcast is about. Kisty gives life advice and educates in such a chill way that it's never boring. Also, the guests she interviews give me life? There are 57 episodes on self, business, relationships, sex and theyre just overall inspiring and fun to listen to!

I also listen to some self help podcasts but that's for another post for you to look forward to! I hope you enjoyed this list and gained something.

Shannon Doody, a 19 year old beauty enthusiast, entrepreneur and cruelty free advocate talked to us about her Australian handmade cosmetic line, Shannon Renae beauty. Her brand specializes in glitters and shadows made "from organic and synthetic mica powders." Shannon herself tests the products to make sure the safety of her consumers. She talked about being an activist while pursuing one's own passion as a career and the importance of ethical living.

What’s the message you are trying to get across with your brand?

Shannon-Renae Beauty has two key messages:
The first is to not be afraid of experimenting with different makeup looks. I love makeup and class it as an art form. The glitters and eyeshadows we create allow people to try new things but also support the inner and outer beauty of everyone in the world.
The second is to stop animal testing. By purchasing some of our products, people don’t lean towards the bigger companies who do test on animals. This is super important as they need to consider the importance of cruelty free products.

Why did you choose to be cruelty free?

I chose my line to be cruelty free because I am a huge supporter of the movement to fight against animal testing. I think it’s such a necessary movement to be part of as I believe animals should not be tested on. The products that get tested on animals are often very painful and affect millions of animals each year. [Being] cruelty free can help to break the chain on testing on animals for large beauty companies.

Can you talk a bit about ethical living?
I believe ethical living is so important in the world. As the world grows older it will not be able to sustain what it used to. There are so many types of ethical living (consumerism, sustainability, environmentalism and animal welfare) that I think with more knowledge and awareness, people are beginning to change little things in their life to do their part.

Whether you take shorter showers, recycle, or purchase ethical goods can make all the difference. I really encourage everyone to read up about ethical living and try and incorporate a few ideas into their lifestyle.

What are your visions for the brand?
My vision for Shannon-Renae Beauty is to offer high quality products to all women and men, to [help them] gain confidence and express personalities through makeup. to offer products that fight animal testing in beauty product and to sustain an enriched world full of life and beauty.

Who/what has been your biggest influence?
Very cliche, but my friends, my boyfriend and family are my biggest influences. My friends and my boyfriend are ALWAYS super supportive and forever are pushing me to do what I want and what makes me happy in life. My family is always supportive too but I’m not sure whether they understood what I was doing until I got it up and running. They are all so proud of me and can’t believe how well Shannon-Renae Beauty is doing, and are always there when something doesn’t go how it should and of course, the celebrations.

I’m so thankful to have these people in my life ♡

As a young entrepreneur who’s just starting out, what are some obstacles/challenges you face?
A few obstacles I have faced are the society rejection, self doubt and financial side to business.
The first being society rejection, I found it quite difficult to get my message across in the beginning stages of production. However, since then my cruelty-free message has gotten a lot more response due to how much the fight against animal cruelty has been covered in the media.

Self doubt was definitely a huge challenge in the beginning. I had invested a lot of time and money into my brand and I really doubted everything I was doing. For a while there I lost what I wanted to do and how I was going with my brand. I also found it really difficult because I am only 19 years old, so a lot of people were doubting my abilities to create a business and succeed in it.

Another challenge was the financial area. I had to invest a lot into starting my own business. Getting everything sorted took a while and a bit of my money. But I really believed I could do this and I had always dreamt of having a little business to run so it was really worth it. Time was my biggest weakness, it took a lot of time when I probably should have been prioritising other things, but I knew Shannon-Renae Beauty was a dream of mine.

You can find Shannon Renae Beauty here:

Website/shop: shannonrenaebeauty.bigcartel.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/shannonrenaebeauty/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/shannonrenaebeauty

They are currently only shipping their glitters and shadows to Australia but more products are on the way!

A chronicle of my first week living away from home, straight from my journal pages. //

a. n | I took out some things that have no relevance in moving out or events that are too personal to share. I also changed the names to protect the privacy of these people. These are just fragments, and sometimes I tend to overthink everything but my honesty is here. This is how I felt, as raw, cluttered and confusing as it can get.

5 June 2017, Monday

Day 1

Hello. Im writing this at the dorm. It all feels surreal! Am I dreaming? Im so grateful I get to live here in the city. Just saying that gives me butterflies all over. So I just finished setting up my things. Fortunately I was able to do that before anyone comes in. I should get hangers soon because the cabinets do not have dividers. Although right now I am alone, I have to get used to not having my privacy all the time and a small bed. Really shouldve brought my mirror but that’s okay! I thought I was over packing but looking at my empty desk now, it’s all good. I have just everything I need. When I parted ways with Tita, KC, and Yana, it hit me. I am alone. This is my first window to what it’s like to live alone. So cute because it’s like being in a relationship with the city— I got to spend time to get used to each other first for a few years and now we're moving in together! I sure grew alot. And learned alot in commuting everyday.

The I.T. is off today so Ill only get wifi tomorrow. I have yet to meet my roommates! Im excited. New friends I hope. Their desks are full of sentimental stuff and I kind of feel at home with them already. I get the top bed and maybe that’s a good thing. Privacy, I guess and surely no one would step on my bed. I brought darling too! Although Fish was left at home.

This is really a new adventure for me. My life changes. Im far away from my comfort zone, and they say that that’s where life starts. 2017 had so much instore for me. My city, thank you for embracing me, for letting me make a home out of you. I promise I wont take anything for granted and that it will all be for the better. Starting today, I get to use my commute time for more productive tasks.

Night one

They were working on the floor when I got home and I tried to work on my desk and maybe start a conversation but I couldnt bring myself to it. The only words I told them was “Hi” when I got home. Dude, I had to redo my face and my hair to say hi because I wanted to impress them. And you know what I did? I said hi, went to get my toiletries and showered. Great job, Nikki.. I hope they didnt mind. I kind of felt guilty in the shower. There’s this part of me that tells me I shouldve said more, but there’s also this part who understands that it shouldnt be forced and just saying ‘hi’ is enough. Baby steps for now. No more crying!!!!!!!

I miss coming home to my room. that almost empty space with 5 corners. i miss my lamp that illuminates the perfect dim of yellow. my quiet. my alone. i miss the safety of my bare skin between my sheets. i miss fish. i miss my puppies. im lucky i have darling with me. but it's the way my fan makes that familiar white noise. how a closed door meant me. meant alone. i miss my mirror. i want quiet and the darkness and my alone. it will be okay. i just need a little getting used to it. baby steps. im taken out of my comfort zone for the better. this is for the better. tomorrow i get to wake up and chase the sunrise. it will be alright. it is alright.

6 June 2017, Tuesday

Day 2

It’s 5:02 am. Ive been awake for an hour now. I figured out how to work the microwave so I could heat water for my morning tea, that’s a great start. The sun isnt up yet. My roommates are all still sleeping and my only light source is my laptop because I didnt want to bother them. I sure miss my yellow light. I think Ill have to bring it here, but then I want something to look forward to back home. I figured even though I had to leave so much, I still have my mornings. Im the only one awake and it feels nice to be alone but at the same time, have company.

I think the kitchen is officially my favorite. I mean I woke up, stumbling in the dark, and then I went to the kitchen. The interior of this apartment makes the kitchen and bathroom apart from the bedroom and I like it that way.

I forgot my slippers. The floor is cold. Sleeping in a smaller bed wasnt so bad. Here’s what my to do list looks like:

[] Say hi and introduce myself
[] Check the gym (7am-10pm)

[] Have my phone and laptop connected to the wifi

X Figure out how the microwave works

[] Where do I put my laundry???? I need my own trashbin!!!

...plus more bullet points for my homework and some things due today. I drafted some posts earlier already so we’re good.

The sun rises on the other side and I could barely see any of it, but thats only another excuse to go out and chase it. Im so excited for today! Im going to get myself a bomb breakfast and take a walk, Ill do my homework when I get home. Today I’ll introduce myself and it will be okay. Let’s gooooo

My first morning in Taft. I decided to get breakfast in harbour square because Im the biggest fan of the ocean. I found our later that I left my wallet and all I have are my coins but there was this guy catching fish by his hand and these men were trying to help him. Quite a nice view while having my favorite taho at 5am. Not bad for a breakfast view.

7 June 2017, Wednesday

Day 3 // 7:42am

The original plan was to wake up at 4 today. Do homework and then do yoga or go to the gym but voila, it’s almost 8am. I got home so exhausted last night so I just went straight to the shower where I spent 20 mins relishing in the hot water. Why is it so cold in school?

Im currently having breakfast. I microwaved yesterday’s bread and although it’s so good, I really crave some garlic bread. I just need a knife1!!! It’s just me now and Lily. I have officially met all of them yesterday. When I came back from my walk, someone has already left, one is still sleeping and the other was preparing for her class. We said “Hi.” and she asked me, “What’s your name again?” Her name was Mia. She’s the architecture student on the right side of my desk.

The other one woke up just as I was getting ready for school. This time, I took the initiative to ask for her name. I then went to school to work on my assignments because I still am not connected to the wifi here. Hopefully Ill get it fixed today.

The last one I met when I came back to drop my laptop for a bit before my classes. It was Lily. She’s the only one who I exchanged more than names with. I found out we are taking the same course but Im senior to her despite her being a year older. She finished high school in another country. Mia and Cara spent the last two nights working on the floor while Lily works on her desk.

Yesterday, too, I noticed one thing we all have in common- the Bible. We all keep it on the second shelf of our desks and I couldnt help but be grateful that God has put me here with these people. Im wondering how would I be if I was on the other room? I cant imagine having to deal with smoke. Id rather deal with dishes left in the sink. (And that’s my biggest pet peeve) I still have yet to get used to not having everything tidied up. My desk is so empty I cant believe it’s mine. Haha!

Our building is on the quieter side of this area but there are still the occasional honking of redheaded drivers. Ill never get it. Honking is almost never necessary. I guess I cant complain too because even I have to improve my patience. When I come back home, Ill bring Fish here.

Cara just woke up. I can never write when someone’s around. Ill talk to you later.

7:47PM

I didnt expect it to be this easy. I look around and I dont feel so uneasy anymore. It’s nice to know I can bring home anywhere. I like being able to go back home when I dont need anything at school. I dont miss home that much anymore. Or perhaps it’s because I was so busy today that it distracted me. I get to discover more of myself and become better through this journey.

8 June 2017, Thursday

Day 4

Im currently at a Mcdonald’s. My roommates were busy working and I needed to be alone to write and maybe review my notes for tomorrow's quiz. I was supposed to go to the convenience store nearby but it was packed with people and so I went here. I really am so uneasy writing when people are around. I just realised how ironic that is now because Im surrounded by even more people in this fastfood. Also, no, I didnt order anything! I officially quit fastfood and colored drinks haha go me

I was dancing while going here! Like, girl, it's my first night adventure! and Im doing it in my PJ’s! How cool is that? It’s just one of the many adventure nights Im going to have. Although the moon is blurred out by the clouds the sky is pretty nevertheless. Ill never not be enchanted by the city at night. There's really no room for fear.

My day had been a very great one. I didnt have any class but I woke up at 6, meaning I got a total of five hours of sleep because I stayed up all night reading The Secret in one seating! The book was spectacular. I was taking notes like my life depends on it. And if I think about it, it kind of does now. Haha! I took time reading my bible then I fixed my stuff to work at a coffee shop. Initially, I planned to go to the starbucks at harbour square because I swear that place is my happy place. Then it became j.co. Then I checked these two coffee shops but both were still closed. I ended up going to this cafe at a hotel that I always pass by whenever I commute. So fancy there! I really like being at hotels. Then after having breakfast and finishing my post, I headed home for my waxing appointment. Everything's so close to me wow Anyway, I should probably go. But I cant go home yet because Ill fall asleep instead of studying. Talk later.

9 June 2017, Friday

Day 5

Friday night and I have the whole place to myself. How dreamy is that?! But really, theyre probably out to eat or something while Im watching a movie being a burrito in bed. Haha! Im very tired. But Im telling you, today was one for the books. Life just really keeps on surprising me. It's so so so so comforting and empowering to know that the universe has got my back.

I got free dinner as well! On Friday nights we have our photo meeting but today I was late so to make up, I volunteered to shoot the last minute assignment. It's an event for the basketball team so there!! Id always volunteer if it means free food. Haha!

Looking forward to going home tomorrow after our village immersion!

view from my window

10 June 2017, Saturday

Day 6 // 6:01am

I have the whole place to myself!!!! I feel like a dog whos got out of her leash. I want to do so many things I cant decide which to do first! My roommates already went home for the long weekend. I just read my bible. The windows are open by the way and I love the weather. It’s been raining hence the cold. Do I shower first? I want do dance! I took pictures of the place and my view from the outside. I wanna get breakfast too.

The light coming in is so pretty. Ive lost count on how many times Ive said “Im in love.” Thursday nights and Friday mornings look promising. [it was Friday nights and Saturday mornings lol] Im just really happy. Ive missed dancing in just my shirt!

Today I go home for the long weekend and Im honestly excited! I miss my dogs so much!

12 June 2017, Monday

Hello. Im home. Im home. That feels so weird to say. To write, I guess. To be honest I do not know how to feel. For sure, I am happy to be here with my little cousins and spend time with my dogs. Ive missed sleeping naked and dancing around and gosh, the homecooked meals! Who knew that getting rice straight from the rice cooker could be such an experience?

Despite all that, Im not quite certain how to describe how I feel.

I used to like having the whole house to myself so it feels weird that I feel kind of bad. The house looks sad, I can tell. My sister is at my aunt's house and my brother is on a sleepover. Nothing really changed but it looks so empty I cant explain it. I spent most of my time yesterday cleaning it, fixing their wardrobe and basically revamping the whole kitchen until midnight. I can go crazy with the dishes because it is a very therapeutic process for me!

I thought I was all good. I was so excited. But being here, Im constantly thinking of taft. Perhaps it's just the upcoming midterms week and the tasks awaiting me there. and the things I still need for the place and just planning my days ahead.

It's been making me ponder on the concept of home. What makes up a home? What makes a place home, for me at least? I used to say home is a feeling and that I always carry it with me. Although it's true to a certain sense, I cant help but wonder. Right now I feel like Im in a state where I dont have a home. Of course, it should feel home here because it's what Im used to. But having most of my stuff and the half of my life back in Taft, it makes me feel like a traveler. But at the same time, when I was there, I was so looking forward to this. Where do I belong? Maybe I just got shocked because this wasnt what I expected. Maybe Im over thinking again. Maybe I'll get used to this soon. I thought Ive adjusted but Im still so naive. So lost.

Home is where I lay my head. Home doesnt have four walls. I seem to not mind at all whenever Im in my own bubble, just writing. Or creating something on my laptop. I came here with two massive bags. One full of laundry while the other holds everything I need- laptop, camera, my journals, hard drives. I guess that's what home is. Sounds so shallow that my comfort lies in such tangible things. But they represent so much more. They are what connects me to the world, they are what opens me up to possibilities, they represent my art, my passion and sense of self.

I guess it's sweet that I have my home here with me. It makes me feel like a turtle! It has its home on its back, just like me, with this big backpack. Im a sea turtle, at home everywhere.

My first encounter with minimalism was with its connection to the clothing style. Not long after that, I incorporated it into style in art and design. I guess one can say that I have always had been attracted towards it especially when I learnt that more than clothes and elements in my art, I can also use it as a way of life. Decluttering my space has allowed me to work more efficiently and simplifying my life made room for things that are so much better than material belongings. Minimalism has greatly impacted the way I view my surroundings and made known to me the things that are genuinely important, the ones that really matter.

I discovered along the way that there are so many more aspects in our lives that we can simplify. Possessions are not the only ones we can declutter. Today, I share with you things that I try everyday to simplify. Letting go of these has greatly influenced my wellbeing.

Actions

Take it one game at a time. I cant believe Im preaching this when I still have so much to learn. I tend to lose sight of the fine line between time for myself and working especially because it is my heart and soul that I pour into these posts and into my art. There are always so many things to be accomplished but Im learning and trying my best to manage my energy well. Wreck-it Ralph, my professor in Content Development and my aunt all told me this. I also learnt that Im more productive when Im focusing on a single task instead of trying to manage multiple ones because then my mind gets cluttered. Down to the simplest things such as eating, I put my whole focus on it and set aside everything else especially my phone.

Desires

It’s not hard to fall into thinking that we lack so much especially because we are surrounded by physical things. We live in a society that capitalises on our insecurities and tells us having this or that is what’s going to make us happy. Changing my focus from what I lack to what I have has helped me started believing that life is pretty abundant. It shouldnt take much to be happy. How could I want, even need, so much if so many people can live without these? What is it really that makes me feel that I need these?

Responsibilities

This is something that I struggled with for a long period of time. I found it so hard to say “no” because it felt as if I was being a coward and Im disappointing the other person. I agreed to work for someone who clearly didnt value my work nor respected me as an artist. I wouldve saved myself from regret if only I was brave enough to say no.

The truth is, we do not always have to say yes. You do not have to accompany that friend, help a colleague with something, or go to that dinner especially if your heart doesnt genuinely want to. Knowing what my priorities are has made managing my responsibilities a lot easier. It’s even harder to say no to myself. I had to learn how destructive always pushing myself can be before I understood that “no” doesnt always have to mean defeat. Now, I dont continue doing something unless my soul begs me to. I learned to love whatever it is Im doing and because of that, I produce output that I am proud of.

Media consumption

I used to waste my mornings staying in bed until Ive gone through my subscription box on youtube and scrolled through instagram. It was very unhealthy and so much of my time goes into nothing. Social media is a big part of our lives now and if I cant avoid it, Im going to be the one who controls what I see instead of letting what I see control me. The media I consume has the biggest influence on me as a person, no matter how much Id like for it to not be. I unfollowed people who only offered superficial and materialistic things and started following people whose thoughts challenged me and whose character made me want to become better, the ones who offered substance. I also started carrying a book with me at all times for when I find myself mindlessly scrolling through my phone.

Negativity

Let go of whaveter it is that brings you negativity or causes you to be a negative person. Let go of the grief, of resentment, of guilt, of shame, of fear. We do not have to hold on to anything that weighs us down. Stop hanging with people whose company you do not genuinely enjoy especially if they arent helping you grow. It doesnt necessarily mean they're bad people, it only means that your souls may not be aligned with one another. Let go if they are toxic. Let go if they cause you to be toxic. Same with our thoughts. The ones that cause us to worry or think ill of another or ourselves do not benefit us. A negative disposition can only attract more bad things but the good news is that we always have the choice to let go of them and embrace only those who help us become better.