Hi friends. Today I'm sharing the Batulao diary I wrote a while back. I posted it on my previous blog but I never really shared it so I thought Id publish it here, too. Reading this again took me back to August and despite the swear words and the run on sentences, I decided not to edit it anymore and just leave it. It felt like I traveled back in time and it wouldnt be emotionally accurate if I tried putting new words. I mean, I wouldnt remember some of these if I didnt reread this one. So yay here ya go. Hope you enjoy it ✱ 

                             

august 13, 2016

          One of the things I have always wanted to do is to hike a mountain. Ive done hikes before but I wouldnt consider them real because one, I was at the comforts of my mom's or grandfather's arms; two, they were quick and they werent really major trails. Lastly, there were no summits, just waterfalls as your reward (but im not complaining. HA)
I had a list of the things I wanted to do before I turned 18 for the longest time and mountain climbing is one of them. Ive always loved cliche photos of people on summits and their legendary "it's worth it™" caption. I dreamt of one day taking photos like those of PNW instagrammers I religiously follow so when Clarisse messaged me about photography and shoot ideas, I mentioned her hikes and then stories led to plans and here we are!!

       This is going to be a lengthy post. I can be really talkative sometimes. Maybe I missed writing about going places and telling stories plus this was one hell of an experience. Also, Im editing this at three in the morning and im probbaly gonna mess this up trying to clear some things but end up adding unnecessary stuff but ok. il try to edit later i just really wanna get this over with alrights grab some snacks!!

BUT WAIT, Ive gathered some clips enough to for a video. If you would like to watch it, it's CLICK HERE.

                                   

        I managed to keep my tradition of not sleeping the night before travelling. I had 0 sleep and I knew it was a bad decision because I would need energy for the next day but I went home really late the night before and there was still so much packing to do plus I had to finish editing some work. I took a long shower that night so I wouldnt have to brave the cold water in the morning. (I uh kinda broke our shower heater at some point but I dont wanna go into detail of how I almost burnt our house at two in the morning enjoying a hot shower for two hours so ya ok) fast forward to us being together after many years!!!!!!! (we were elementary classmates and we never kept in touch until now)

       Clarisse told me stories during the bus ride and kept showing me pictures of her travels. I think that was my favourite. It inspired me so much and her beauty radiated in every story she told. I realised just how much more there can be to a person. Ive always loved seeing beneath the surface. I thought at that moment that she was the most beautiful because that has always been how I see people. Their stories and thoughts surpasses everything else.

           

           We decided not to get a guide. Such guts right!!!! She hiked the mountain before so we just rolled with it! I think Id trust any strong independent woman with my life. I mean, this girl has hiked Pico de fucking Loro multiple times!!! On her own!!! The ground was already muddy even before the actual trail and I thanked heavens I wore trekking sandals instead of rubber shoes. She told me how her shoes gave up during her last trek there and just.. nope. nope. I brought my fav shoes. nope. We registered and got our sticks (which were sold for only Php10.00!!!!!!) and the fun started.

             I admit that I was a little skeptical at first. The rain didnt show any sign of stopping any time soon and it scared me. There were already hikers who stopped and went back because according to them, the rain is really getting heavy especially up at the summit. But my excitement kept me hoping to be able to finish what we were starting. And girl, we didnt even think twice. Stopping wasnt an option and fear, at long last, wasnt paralyzing anymore. The actual trail started and it was only when i looked at her and the mountain at the background when it hit me.. “Wow. We’re really doing this? HOLY SHIT.” but not like in the “wtf are we doing this is stupid we’re getting ourselves killed!!" but instead in the "yeeesss #girlamighties #girlpower im so proud fuck yes!!" way. At one point, when there were no one else in sight and it was just us and the mountains I asked her, “are you scared?” and my girl just shrugged no!!!!!! As if I was just asking if shes hungry!!! Good thing because  really if it she was scared, Id be scared too. Her strength made me want to be brave too.

        Reaching the first peak felt like one of my greatest achievements. Looking back, I felt more proud of it than when I was at the actual summit. Haha! 9 more peaks to go..

We were making a turn from the wrong way (thanks to the locals) when I spotted two campers. I think it was near the 7th peak. I thought that we’d come say hi even though they were off trail. I really just wanted to take pictures of them. (The things i do for pictures!!!!!) We went and asked them if they were going back already but turns out they were only on their way up as well! They asked us if we wanted to go together and of course we said yes. I didnt have any idea then that these two would be my life savers, quite literally. 

          Kuya Jeremiah and Ate Chiqui were so cute. He would take pictures of her in every stop. Or should i say, he’d stop to just take pictures of her? Haha! He’d pick flowers and put it in her hair then art direct the photo. HAHHAHAHHA CUTE 

        I am at a loss for words just thinking about how many times i was close to dying during this hike. I just replayed my mom’s words “please come back to me in one piece” over and over again in my head and it feels dramatic telling this now but really, it gave me strength. I was able to control my breathing thus minimizing panic, all thanks to yoga classes. Haha! 

     On a more positive note though, everyone was incredibly kind. Other hikers greeted us good morning/afternoon when we bump into each other. People would say ‘Ingat’ and some would even stop to actually exchange a few words. Their hands are always ready to reach. So many people offered me help, especially at the extra dangerous areas and Id get conscious everytime because mine were soo dirty from either crawling or sliding. They reassure me that they do not mind at all and that “clean” isnt really a thing in the mountains. I wish it's like that everyday. I wish kindness was a natural thing. Everyone was so patient as well?????? The world was almost perfect???????? Like. Theyd wait for their turns patiently- just taking selfies, exchanging stories or making fun of each other. There were so many people Ive slowed down but they were just chill with it and kept telling me to take my time. No pressure. We were with another group on the way to the summit and they seemed to have too much fun making fun of their chinese companion. We couldnt help but laugh too. 

          I think the most thrilling part was here. I had control over my legs until this point where my whole body was just shaking. Fear started creeping up but I just repeated what Ive been repeating to myself that whole day (and every day tbh): “no pressure. baby steps. im nicole fucking constante i can do this."

         The trail got even more dangerous as we drew near the summit. Though I think it’s mostly because of the slippery ground. I was thankful nonetheless because of the rain. Clarisse told me how sunny it was during her first hike and the high temperature got her using every swear word there is. Haha! I mean, the sun was still there but it the temperature wasnt high. 

          It’s so cool seeing how much you walked already and how close you are to the highest point. Few rapel and literal mountain climbing left (where you hold on to rocks and trust them with your life) and we'd get there. I was sweating like hell despite the wind, both from nervousness and tiresome. There was a bamboo at the summit and the next thing, we were there already! I think the main thing I felt was just pure relief. Getting to the summit didnt feel like the climax. I was a bit confused by how bland I felt about it if im honest. I didnt even take much pictures. Pretty much every fog picture you are seeing now is from different areas. We took a rest and munched on some snacks and comfort food. There were also puppies up that high and it broke my heart seeing how hungry they seemed so I shared my food. The others took a few selfies but I couldnt be bothered. I was just relishing the view, still couldnt believe that I was able to do it, that I reached my first summit.

           After approximately half an hour, it was time to go. We were pretty much chasing the sun. Who wants to hike in the dark? And so we went. Other hikers took the same way they did going up but we traversed. Getting the whole Batulao experience! Yay. Ive heard that the old trail was much harder and longer than the first one and as much as I wanted to prepare myself, no vlog or blog post couldve helped me brace myself for this. First thing that greeted us? Tada!! Rapel. Sure, we’ve encountered ropes and it made my life easier going up but this time? I wanted to just disappear. Or maybe have teleportation powers. Eee. Clarisse went first and she did it so smoothly. Almost as if she does it everyday for a living. Ate Chiqui followed. It was her first time hiking as well (she’s more into running marathons) and it made Kuya Jeremiah really worried. I kind of felt guilty because he couldve been assisting her but he had stay and help me. She made her way down without a single scratch or tear, she even cheered on me saying I can do it, too. I was actually very confident and I wanted to try it on my own. I really wanted to. I was thinking, if they can do it, why cant i? And Ive been the weakling the whole way up, it’s time to reclaim myself! Haha! Kuya kept asking me if I can. He asked so many times and everytime, I said "yes, I can." I wanted the answer to be yes that I said it more times even after he stopped asking hoping maybe that would actually make it true. I was sure Id give it a try until the point where I held the rope and then I just said… “ok…. HOW?” My voice was cracking. Kuya laughed the hardest and I laughed too like what was I thinking!!!! He said it’s better not to take a risk and took these photos of me not sure whether to laugh or cry.

            “okay we have no choice. we have to take a risk” after hearing that despite him saying it not so seriously, i wanted to fall to my knees. He went first so he could guide me. I lost control of my breathe and my heart was just racing. I had to be reminded constantly not to look down. Right hand, left hand, right foot and then left. I asked him to just pull the rope because having it lose freaks me out. It was much harder for him because we had to share the rope, which by the way freaked me out even more because what if it breaks???? I was taking my time, step by step, but at some point we lost it. He was taking on the left part and I was in the middle. We were sharing the same rope so when he pulled it, I came with it accidentally. I flipped and I was facing the air instead of the mountain it was just unreal. My heart has never beaten faster. He immediately reached for me and tried flipping me back despite my weight + our bags + duh, he has to hold on too. He had to do it with one hand. It was one of those “keep holding on” movie scenes. Too dramatic I can only remember it in slow motion. That was the closest Ive been to dying hahahaha! Once settled, i couldnt fight it anymore and I cried. As if we werent in the middle of rapelling down the mountain!!!! I found time to cry!!!!!!!!!! Nice one nic!!! I was like “Wait. Let me just cry for a second.” It was so embarassing how my tears just kept on falling the rest of our way down for being overwhelmed both by fear and pride. We also even found time to throw jokes at each other so I was laughing crying. It was nice. I should also give credit to my cheerleaders, Clarisse and Ate Chiqui. I feel so sorry for the stress Ive caused them three. I (half) jokingly asked Kuya Jeremiah and Ate Chiqui if they regret meeting us. Gee. Im so so so thankful because I dont know how to make it through that mountain without their help. 

               There were no major difficulty the rest of the trail down but the ground got muddier so we had to be more cautious. We took several stops but we didnt really rested for long. We had the sunlight to chase. I refused to take any more pictures because my camera is all set in my bag and because I just wanted to really absorb everything. The trail we took was visible and I wondered how the hell I survived that. We started feeling pain and it grew the longer we stopped so we just continued. Kuya and Ate Chiqui were both still alright since they took the hike in two days while I and Clarisse just dayhiked. On one of our stops was a comfort room which got me in tears of joy because all day ive been ranting about how dirty I am. I just couldnt take it eeep. We stopped for the last time for some food. It burnt everytime I bended my knees and jokes on me for changing clothes because I still had to slide down the mud because I didnt want to risk falling off the mountain. It’s slide or die. RIP hahahhaa I wish I and clarissa had a picture before we showered that night. She was still wearing her clothes from the morning but still she was cleaner than me. Yikes.

            I wasnt able to get up for two days after this but hell, having that kind of experience and being able to tell this story now makes it all... worth it™. Ive said this before and ill say this again: Ill never be a city girl..... NOR A MOUNTAIN GIRL WTH TAKE ME TO THE OCEAN AAAAHHHH goodnight

The rest of the photos are on [my facebook]. See you tomorrow? :)