My consuming passion for this boy started when I watched his live performances on youtube. Of course Ive heard of him prior to that, I mean, who hasnt? But I didnt really give much attention because literally I thought Ed has taken all my ability to fangirl. After my obsession with him I swore I wouldnt pour so much of myself into another person. One youtube video led to another and before I know it, the day was coming to an end and Im still watching Shawn's videos. The feeling was very similar to when I started supporting Ed and I was simultaneously giddy and terrified. I made sure to draw the line before it grew into another obsession because I dont think I could handle another one. HAHA! I continued to listen to him whenever Im mindlessly going through my day, cleaning my room or dancing with my dogs. I loved Shawn in subtle ways.

Seeing him live was lovely. Again there was the familiar "he's a real human being!" It's always surreal to witness someone living their dreams. Throughout the concert I was thinking how he was just a boy uploading song covers on youtube/vine and now he's here, on the other side of the world, singing the songs he wrote in his bedroom to a foreign crowd singing his lyrics right back at him. If he stopped because no one was watching, if it wasnt done for love, he wouldnt be there on stage. I think at that point, "giving up" vanished from my vocabulary.

I lost it when he started singing A Little Too Much. The words, no matter how 'cliche', resonated with me. I tried to sing along but I just relished in the moment of having him sing it to me. He also mentioned his escapade in a rural place and how incredible it was being noticed by two little girls. You guys!!! That was just 5 minutes from my hometown and I used to swim on that same river!

Ruin, Mercy, Lights On and Dont Be A Fool were my greatest anticipations and I was not disappointed! Lost my voice but that was the least of my worries. All I could think at the end was the amount of love I had for the teeny tiny human on the stage. 

He performed his last song, Stitches, and I danced along as though the night wasnt ending. But then it did. He took his bow and I was left to my senses. I didnt understand my emotions. It was almost funny because I literally felt heartbroken, as if I was left hanging. It wasnt the high, blissful, and exhilarating feeling concerts have always left me. This one was different because I was sad that it ended to the point that I couldnt stand up. When I did, I took a walk at the parking lot while writing how I felt on my notes app. SO DRAMATIC RIGHT. Plus there were fireworks! Woooo thanks universe!

The original plan of going with my friend Stephen was butchered. You guys, I only bought the ticket two days prior! So many events fell on the day of his concert but I was certain I wanted to see him. Plus it would be a great reward for my hardwork. I was lucky I got one before the tickets completely sold out. I cant imagine now how I got through that day. Everything was happening at once.  I skipped my second class to chase my dreams up north for an interview then went back to South for my boyfriend. I was fortunate to make it back in time!!!! It's exhausting just thinking about what I did but my reward made it all worth while. Ang pogi nya gussjdhfwu